Our Precious, Growing Gift

It astounds me how quickly time passes when you're least expecting it. Look away for too long and you'll be left wondering how it slipped by so quietly, so unnoticed, all while you were keeping busy, unknowingly marching to its very beat.

Thus, it's probably a good idea to write another blog post before even more time floats on by. Four and a half months have passed since our sweet baby Benjamin was born. How that's possible, I'm really not sure. The road to one month was a complete blur; two months was nothing short of hellish; three months was pretty stinkin' rough; by month four, it seems that we have finally figured each other out and have settled into our respective comfort zones; month five is approaching and it's looking even better. Hallelujah.

A precious, precious woman from our church felt called to give me a verse of encouragement when I was very pregnant (and very anxious) with Ben:
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." - John 14:27

Oh, what a comfort the word of God is, that day and every day. I have felt His peace every step of the way, and this verse has brought me more comfort than I think either of us had anticipated. What a wonderful gift.

These four and a half months have been rough and full of growing moments, to be sure. Looking back, I realize that I definitely suffered from postpartum anxiety for part of those first two months. I was so blissfully happy and outrageously tired in the beginning especially, as one would expect. I didn't realize how present that anxiety was, though, as I was doing my damnedest at just putting one foot in front of the other, doing what needed to be done; truth be told, my anxiety was eating me alive some of those days. Any time Benjamin is screaming in the back of the car, inconsolable as he is exhausted from daycare and I'm just trying to get us home so we can snuggle, I'm immediately thrown back to those days filled with anxiety and dread. Let it be said that I do not miss the newborn stage one teeny tiny bit.

But even in those anxiety-ridden moments, those days and nights and God-only-knows-what-time-it-was when tears were streaming down my face, He gave me peace. When I was worried about transitioning to formula, about starting daycare, about going back to work, He gave me peace. When I caught him coming down with his first cold and logic told me all that could go wrong, He gave me peace. When we had to take him to the ER two days before Christmas because his breathing became too quick, too labored for his teeny body, He gave me peace. When I anticipate having to take care of him on my own for many of the evenings in the upcoming weeks, He gives me peace. For this promise that He has given me and continually fulfills, I am so very grateful.

While the Lord is my ultimate source of peace and joy, this sweet boy that He has gifted us with brings me so much joy that I didn't even know was possible. I call him my sugar baby because is just so stinkin' sweet; people constantly tell me just how sweet he is, and I cannot disagree. I'm a bit biased, sure, but this boy is just precious beyond words.




At four and a half months old, Benjamin has almost figured out how to sit up on his own, and he absolutely loves to stand (while being supported, of course). He is the chattiest little boy I've ever known, but he won't talk to you until he has completely taken in his surroundings for a good long while; then, he'll chatter and scream your ear off. This boy definitely knows how to use his voice! Only recently has he figured out the belly laugh, much thanks to Patrick's bushy beard - he squeals, snorts, giggles, and smiles with his whole face. Benjamin hasn't quite mastered rolling over yet as he is far too interested in looking around and playing, both while on his back and his tummy (he rolled over from belly to back at 5 weeks and hasn't been at all interested since). His hands are always in his mouth unless he is busy enjoying his activity mat, o-ball, baby paper, or wooden teething rings. He has always loved playing with his hands, and that hasn't changed. This sweet boy of ours loves - and I mean LOVES - to be read to and sung to, and he is the absolute happiest baby when he wakes up in the morning all scrunched up in the corner of his bassinet. And he has the world's most kissable cheeks, so that's just the icing on the cake.

Benjamin has slept through the night since three months and one week old, and we all have loved life quite a bit more since then; once he figured out how to do this, he has only woken up in the middle of the night once, which was quickly remedied by a small bottle. I'm not saying that we've evaded the infamous four-month sleep regression, though, because I'm pretty sure that it's taking the form of crappy/nonexistent napping, at least for now. I don't even care. I'll take it if that means he keeps sleeping though the night, pretty please!

One week ago, we went to his four month appointment with his pediatrician, and while we knew he was growing, we weren't quite ready for the statistics they shared with us. I would have shared this a bit sooner, but it has been one heck of a week, to put it lightly (4-month shots, mom's dentist appointment, baby's first ear infection, baby home with a fever, allergic reaction and trip to urgent care on my end, and both parents battling colds - Patrick's first, prolonged cold that he caught from Ben, and my second).

To paint a picture for you of how much our boy has grown...
- Benjamin was born at 7lb 2oz, 20 inches, sitting in right around average for both weight and height. He wasn't quite back to birth weight at 2 weeks old, so we had to come back for a weight check at every month marker with only marginal growth in the first month. He didn't even gain a whole pound, hence the continued weight checks.
- At his 2 month appointment, we were just transitioning over to formula after still struggling to gain weight. He hadn't gained as much weight as we had hoped, and our breastfeeding journey was coming to an end as we were going through all sorts of struggles at the same time. He weighed in at 9lb 12oz, 23 inches. That meant that he was in the 3rd percentile for weight and 46th percentile for height.
- At his 3 month weight check, he weighed in at 13lb 7oz, landing at a much better place on the growth curve. Because it was just a weight check, they didn't take his height measurements.
- At his 4 month appointment this past week, Benjamin weighed a whopping 15lb 8oz and was 27 inches long - the boy grew four inches in two months; seven inches in his entire four months! This baby boy is now sitting at the 46th percentile for weight (praise God!) and 98th percentile for height, meaning that he's taller/longer than 98% of the babies his age. Oy! He has outgrown most of his 3-6 month clothing simply due to his length. We put him in a 6-9 month outfit yesterday that fit him perfectly. How is that even possible?! This kid is not a chunky baby, but dang it all if he isn't long.

Now, baby Ben came out with long feet and long fingers - everyone commented on them, especially his feet. I called him Little Foot in utero because of how often he used those big feet of his to kick me (he is still just as active while he sleeps, too, for the record. The little stinker.). That being said, we still were shocked that he's that long, and it will be interesting to see if he stays in the same spot on the growth curve or not. I could see it going either way - he could have just shot up and be making up for lost time after our switch to formula, or he could be taking after his uncle James who stands more than a foot taller than me. Only time will tell, I suppose!

Truly, I have been blessed beyond measure, and I am so grateful for all that I have. I don't really even know how to end this post except to say that we are so happy and so in love with our little baby Benjamin who, as it turns out, isn't going to be so little for very long. Time plays those sneaky little tricks on you. Six months is just around the corner. Before I know it, summer will be here and we'll be approaching Ben's first birthday. Oh, I can hardly wait to see what our sweet boy will be like then! God, thank you for this perfect, precious little gift!

Dad is the absolute greatest thing on this planet.

Our first Christmas together: a very serious matter.

Baby Ben loves Rosie the cow!

Just pushing himself up and talking to the burp cloth like it's no big deal.

How can you not smile while looking at that precious face?

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