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Trench Talk

5:30 am With tears in my eyes, I look at my baby boy coolly lounging on the changing pad, freshly diapered and wide awake. Hand on his head, stroking his temple, I lean in to tell him that I love him, and I mean it with my entire being. I give him a kiss on one cheek, then on the other. He starts to cry. Again. We've been up every hour tonight and I've just about lost my mind, getting angry at myself for being angry at him, feeling all the mom guilt because my son isn't content, feeling all the wife guilt because my husband has woken up every time our boy cried and took him to change and soothe him just three hours ago, and he has to leave for work in approximately that same amount of time. 
The highs and lows I've experienced as a new mom have been extreme. We're on a roller coaster of emotions daily, even hourly sometimes. My world completely falls away when Benjamin looks into my eyes, and nothing else holds a candle to the feeling of him smiling at me. But whe…

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