I see something of God each hour of the twenty-four, and each moment then,
In the faces of men and women I see God, and in my own face in the glass,
I find letters from God dropt in the street, and every one is sign'd by God's name,
And I leave them where they are, for I know that wheresoe'er I go,
Others will punctually come for ever and ever."
- Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
Sometimes, I am simply taken aback by how gracious and loving my God is. Truly. I rush about my life and, more often than not, neglect to pay attention to the blessings that I am showered with every second of every day. I quickly become frazzled by my current disposition of frustration, anxiety, longing, or exhaustion. I selfishly demand that my time be used well in a way in which I decide.
Oh, how silly I can be most of the time.
And then there are times when all I want to do is bask in the goodness of God, bathe in the little gifts that the Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth has given me, pay close attention to the little love letters that He sends me every single day.
It has been a long winter in Oklahoma - a very long, cold, hard winter. Now, I'll be the first to tell you that I looove winter weather: I love getting bundled up in my warm layers, not having to worry about how each of my wardrobe choices fits on my body, bustling to and fro, truly enjoying the warmth that is offered inside. I can only appreciate the heat when I am cold. However, I am so very ready to embrace the warmth and sunshine of spring! We're in the very, very early stages of spring now - the high yesterday was in the 50s, and the high today is in the 70s - the typical back-and-forth weather patterns of the central plains. I am aching to wear a tank top and some shorts (I guess I need to actually buy some first) and just soak up those beautiful rays of sunshine. Literally, there are tears in my eyes just thinking about that prospect right now.
I feel like this past winter is a great big metaphor for me and my well-being. I have been so shut off, so distant, so bitterly cold in my heart since November. Losing that second baby did something to me that I cannot fully explain; it was so different from the first time around. There hasn't been a ton of growth going on over here, either. I have grown and seen change, yes, but I have been stuck in this season for a bit too long. I'm cold, and I'm tired of being cold. I am so ready to embrace the warmth again, to not only see, but experience as well, the true beauty that surrounds me constantly, to recognize those little love letters that my Creator is sending me and respond with a heart that is content and overflowing with joy.
I can feel the tingles of anticipation in my body and soul at the thought of it; that's a feeling that I haven't felt in a long, long time.
This winter of mine is just about over, and I couldn't be more thrilled.
Now, it's high time that I get out of my robe and enjoy this gorgeous day that the Lord has made! Hallelujah!