October 29, 2010


What's been going on this week? I'll put it in as simply as I can.

Sunday: Matt Chandler. Lots of homework. Then...
Seriously. The WORST PAIN OF MY LIFE. Started about 2:30. I was in complete agony until I had Aspirin, Tylonol, and Aleeve in me, along with topical pain reliever and temporary filling material with Aspirin mashed up in it.
SERIOUSLY. I thought my neighbors were going to come knock on my door. I was screaming that loudly from the pain.
I had an abscessed tooth.
And I honestly think that it is worse than what childbirth will be like. (A lady at the dental clinic said it is totally worse, btw.)
Without my mom coming to the rescue, I honestly do not think I would have survived.

Monday: Visit to a "free" dental clinic. $50 for an emergency appointment. Confirmed, I had an abscessed tooth. Prescription for non-penicilin antibiotics and Darvocet. $20 for the prescriptions. Sleep. Lots of homework. Class.

Tuesday: Class. I was a bit loopy from the pain meds. Homework..... and I don't remember anything else. Except for writing an awesome paper in one sitting.

Wednesday: Class. I had an essay due, a quiz, and a test. Lordy. Still on the pain meds. MORE homework.

Thursday: NO MORE PAIN MEDS! Right before class, the pain came back because I was OUT of my precription. UGH it was terrible. Not quiiiite as bad, but almost. Bad enough!
Class. Then the dreaded ROOT CANAL.
I know they aren't that bad, but I was TERRIFIED. I have had two before (my teeth are terrible, despite my efforts). But I get soooooooo nervous when I go to the dentist. And I have probably the BEST dentist in the universe!
They had to numb me FOUR different times before I couldn't feel most of the action. The last shot had to go directly in the nerve. Let's just say... I cried. It hurt SO BADLY.
But my dentist is amazing. His assistants are amazing.
And my family is amazing. Patrick stayed with me for almost the whole time, despite his own personal fear of going to the dentist. And when he had to leave, my mom came to pick me up. I have wonderful support.
Oh.... and I got more pain meds.

Friday: Class. Final essay due. My bi-weekly cleaning job. And homework. And pain meds.

It's been a week.
My husband has been SO great. He has woken me up during the awful hours of the night to make sure I get my pain medication.
Patrick, my mother, and my mother-in-law are all amazing and so giving. Between the three of them, I was able to arrive at all of my classes, appointments, etc. (I'm not allowed to drive with the Darvocet).
I am so blessed.

Now I just have to schedule the appointment for my crown. Booo.

October 23, 2010

Plethora of Pictures

Warning. This post is a plethora of pictures.

Yesterday was the first day of An Affair of the Heart - an awesome local arts and crafts show. I went with my mother-in-law and had a blast. We shopped for almost 8 HOURS. (And I escaped with only spending $23!!) The first picture is a gift from Patrick's parents. They got one for their eldest son and daughter-in-law after they were married. I got to pick out the letters, mat, and frame; it will go over our TV in the living room! I love it! :)

The following pictures I will explain now.
The first picture is of these cuuuuute hair accessories - total of $11 for one headband and two clips. I love them! And they will serve as inspiration for my own crafts.
The second picture has two things. First: the books - Little Men and Jo's Boys by Louisa May Alcott, the follow ups to Little Women. Copyright of 1943, and they have a sweet message in the fronts of both. $3 each. The buttons are ADORABLE in person and will serve as functioning parts of my crafts. :) $3 for 30 buttons.
The third and fourth pictures are by far my favorite purchases. At 25 cents a piece, they are all foreign postcards. The LATEST dated is 1915; the EARLIEST dated is from 1887! I am so in love! No idea what I will do with them yet, but have no fear - it will be awesome.
The fifth and sixth pictures are of a letter sent to someone in Philadelphia in 1903. The actual letter is tiny, making the 5 pages of writing even smaller. This was among the purchase of postcards for 25 cents. Total cost: $3.


The postcards:

The letter:

All in all, yesterday was a success.

Today, I attempted something new.
For my whole life, my mother has made this amazing banana nut cake with a maple glaze. When I was a child, whenever I thought she wouldn't notice, I would scrape off the maple glaze from the plate and eat it by itself. It was just SO TASTY.
My mother never taught me how to make it, but today, I attempted it.
Man, what a tasty treat!
(Sorry, the picture might cause some to salivate. Or so I have heard.)

***I forgot to talk about the amazing deals I got at Borders. Next time!

October 21, 2010

Delightful Decorations

Patrick's mother and I went to a few shops today. I wanted to buy these adorable little pumpkins (about the size of my fingernails) for the hurricane that we got for a steal at Pier 1. I knew that it needed something more, and I immediately knew that these were the ticket.

SO. We went to a few shops, and the first one was for the pumpkins. I picked out a scoop of the best pumpkins, which was $2.50 per scoop. We looked around the shop and went to the register to check out.  The lady was wrapping up a lot of items for the previous customer.
She looked at me and asked, "Honey, is that all you're wanting to get today?"
I replied that it was.
She replied, "Oh, go ahead and take it! I'll be a while."
I was shocked. I told her that we could absolutely wait until she was finished, no big deal.
She just said, "No, no, go ahead! I want you to come back! We have an open house coming up the first week of November and I would love it if you came!"
It was only $2.50 to start with, but the thing I wanted most I got for free! She was such a sweet lady. :)

Then my mother-in-law went to this new store that she had previously told me about. It is an antique store, but has a ton of really cute things: new, old, refurbished. As we walked in, I knew it was a terrible idea, because I was SO IN LOVE. Thankfully, I managed to escape with only spending $20! I got an amazingly cute lamp for $10, and two awesome glass candle holders for $5 each.
I used my remaining pumpkins to fill the candle holders, though they are really cute with actual candles in them, too. They don't have a specific home yet, but I will figure it out. :)

The candle holders with the adorable mini pumpkins.
(I am tired of using my camera phone, btw.)

The lamp and the hurricane. I need a shade for the lamp, but the pumpkins are perfect!

All in all, I say it was a success.

Seventy x Seven

70 x 7.
Seventy times seven.
This is how many times I am supposed to forgive someone.
I can never forgive someone too many times.
Because my Savior forgives me an infinate number of times.
For an infinate number of sins.
Thankfully, my best friend reminded me of this yesterday.
(Though my Bible says "seventy seven times" with a footnote as "Or seventy times seven", I like to think of it as 70x7... it's a much bigger number than 77. Matthew 18:21-22.)

But what does it mean to actually 100% FORGIVE someone??

forgive (verb)
     1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
     2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
     3. to grant pardon to (a person).
     4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.

forgiveness (noun)
     1. the act of forgiving; state of being forgiven
     2. disposition or willingness to forgive

I guess that my issue is my pride (imagine that!). I do not actually posess the willingness to forgive some people, though I think that I am more than willing or have already forgiven.  To cease to feel resentment against. Ick. Guess that means if I still resent someone or the things that they did, I haven't truely forgiven them.

I have so much to learn. So much to get over.
Thankfully, my Lord will guide me the whole way. Whether I want him to or not. ;)

October 20, 2010

Endless Expression

I used to write.
Creative writing.
And I was actually pretty good, believe it or not.

Reading through my old writings from my class in high school, I remember that it was a very, very dark period of my life.
It was my senior year. My second year attending that high school.
My mother moved us from south Orange County, California to the armpit of America (or so I thought) - Oklahoma. I hated her so much, even after a year of living there.
Before I ramble on and on about now pointless details, just know that I felt so very alone.
Absolutely alone, after a decade of searching and FINALLY finding where I truly fit in. I had a beautiful group of supportive and loving friends, without the craziness of high school drama. That was so important to me. Every teenager seeks acceptance. I had found it, and was almost immediately ripped away from it.

I absolutely hated Oklahoma and I hated my high school, as well. But my creative writing class pushed me. It kept me going to school each day. I literally woke up every single morning dreading the day ahead, but the desire to be in that class gave me a purpose for that day.

I know that it sounds so silly and trivial, but that class gave me the ability to express myself, and a place where I would not be judged for my thoughts and feelings. A place where I was encouraged, where I was told that I was actually good at something. A safe place. It was FREEDOM. The ability to be myself. The ability to breathe in a world where I felt suffocated.

God was looking out for me. I know that for a fact.
And it was through creative expression and acceptance in my immediate world.
I might not have survived without it.

I have started keeping a creative writing journal by my bed. There are only a few entries, but I know that it will grow over time.
And it will be a beautiful, candid view of my heart.

October 17, 2010

Life Lessons

If my life's lessons were a novel,
it would probably be Pride and Prejudice.

There are some things about myself that I really do like. One of them is the fact that I have this habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt. A LOT. For whatever reason - tardiness, attitude, difference of opinion... anything and everything. Especially if I don't know them very well. I just don't feel like people should jump to the worst conclusion immediately. And if they do, I try to provide reasons as to WHY. ("Maybe they said that going to a concert is the last thing they wanted to do and that they sometimes are tired of music because they have to deal with kids and music and noise all day long, and all they want is a little peace and quiet; not because they are tired of music itself." - real life example from a few days ago)
Maybe it's because that's what I hope someone would do for me? After all, I do say things that are misinterpreted quite often.

And then comes my pride.

"My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever."
- Mr. Darcy

Welcome to the story of my life.
Typically, I give people the benefit of the doubt for a really, really long time before I give the relationship the axe. You have to damage that good opinion yourself, but not in simple, petty ways. You have to hurt me and damage my view of your character over and over again.
Maybe that is why my conclusion of the relationship is so final - when that decision is finally made. In my brain, I have given a person SEVERAL chances to show their true character and when the offers have been exhausted, the relationship is over. I know who you truly are, and have decided that I don't like what I have seen.
I'm only human. I can only defend a person (to others or myself) so many times. And trust me, defending an unpopular person or opinion can be exhausting after a while.

Once that good opinion is lost, like Mr. Darcy's, it is lost forever. I know this is a bad thing, but it gets worse. I am a TERRIBLE liar. The people in my life can tell you that I am almost completely transparent. My transparency is a reason that my husband first started to like me - I was "real". I didn't try to fake things.

Therefore, I am not good at hiding the fact that I can't stand a person. When I am faced with someone that I no longer care for, the result is not at all pretty. In fact, it is hideously ugly. And I absolutely hate it. Not only do I get emotionally (and almost physically) sick around these few people, but my mouth runs off on its own. I have previously posted about not using my verbal filter. Pair this with disgust and you have a disaster. I have said so many things that I would take back in a heartbeat - but I can't. But then there is that small part of me that tries to justify the things that I have said (the content, not the setting) because they have been proven true.

My pride disgusts me. It is so wrong and so hurtful.
But the hardest part? Knowing that I have been given unlimited forgiveness and grace by my Jesus. And knowing that I am supposed to do the same (that whole living-like-Jesus thing).

Where do I draw the line between forgiving others and protecting myself? I suppose it isn't necessarily a line; more like a gray area. That darn middle ground! The older I become, the more I realize that life is like one big gray area. They don't tell you that when you're a child. It's all black and white, good and bad, right and wrong.

Grace and love.
That's what I have to remember.
No excuses.

October 13, 2010


You know that it's time for bed when you catch yourself making spit bubbles.....?

School is kicking my rear end til it's black and blue.
Okay, maybe just this one history test.

Hopefully I will have a life soon.
I had one this weekend. Here's a picture of it! ;)

3 of my 4 little siblings. In a locker. In a music building at a college.
Yep. <3

Off to bed! This test is going to eat my lunch tomorrow.

October 5, 2010

Pumpkin Patch

This past weekend, Patrick and I did our annual pumpkin patch trip! Since I don't have a lot of updates at the moment, I'll just show some pictures from the day (taken with my phone, of course).

I love traditions. :)